Clergy Self-Care

Question #5

2012-03-02T16:20:00.001-05:00

5. What has recently gotten in the way of you taking your day off? (The whole day?)

As you think back to the last few days off you've had, have you been able to take full advantage of them? If not, what has gotten in the way? Perhaps there were unavoidable needs from your congregation. If so, did you have a chance to take off some compensatory time?

But perhaps not bracketing your day off is something to pay attention to within your own heart and mind. Did you say "Yes," when you wanted to say "No, not until tomorrow?" What prompted the "Yes?"

We love to be needed. We need to be needed. But to have energy and compassion enough for the long road, try to take full advantage of your day off, every week, as many weeks as you possibly can.

Question #4

2012-02-24T16:46:00.002-05:00

4: When was the last time you talked with a good friend?

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When was the last time you checked in with a good friend who is not a member of your congregation? Someone who knows you just as *you*, not Pastor Soandso. If it's been a while, maybe now's the time for you to look up an old friend and get together for coffee or a long walk and talk. Yes, you might be "friends" with them on Facebook and electronically interact with a few short phrases. But take some time to sit down for a face to face conversation where you can share and laugh together. Put aside ministry for a few moments. Let it go. Relax and enjoy.

Question #3

2012-02-11T11:23:00.001-05:00

3. When was the last time you allowed yourself to wonder?

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Pastors can get so busy, so caught up with attending to the needs at hand, that they can lose their availability to be open to the moment. I encourage you to take some time to wonder. Perhaps it's on a walk outside in nature. Perhaps it's watching a young grandchild play. Perhaps it's stopping with one verse or even a small phrase in your Bible, to wonder at the grand gift of life that God has given us.

Perhaps today, or this week, you can find some time to wonder. Even just for a few moments.

Thanks for Your Patience & Question # 2

2012-02-06T13:44:00.002-05:00

I'm back at my PRC computer after a few months away, and looking forward to encouraging you to take good care of yourself, so that you can take good care of others in ministry. It's a beautiful, sunny, warm winter day here in Lancaster. Our building is right next to a Retirement Community. We have many retirees to take a walk outside for fresh air and exercise, or to enjoy a good talk with a walking buddy.

Back to questions, which I just got started on in the fall.

2. Have you taken some time for fresh air and exercise lately?

If not, when might be a good time to do so? How about this afternoon?! (No matter when you are reading this message.) Even if it's just 15 minutes, it might lift your mood and give you needed perspective on whatever challenge is facing you.

Leave of Absence

2011-10-07T14:14:00.000-04:00

The questions will have to wait! I'll be on a leave of absence from the Parish Resource Center until January, as I attend to some writing projects in my Scripture Echo business.

Peace to you, until then. Take good care of yourself!

Tracey Marx

Question #1

2011-09-17T10:47:00.002-04:00

Let's start out with a tough one!

1. What are you doing that is sabotaging your desire to take good care of yourself?

We all choose unwisely, for all kinds of reasons. Take a look at the choices you are making through the day, throughout the week. What is getting in the way? What is unhealthy? What is dragging you down?

And then...

What would it mean for you, if you were to give this up? How would things be different for you?

And then...

What is your prayer for yourself? What help do you need from God?

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Take a deep breath. Relax. Spend some gentle time in prayerful instrospection, this fall.

QUESTIONS

2011-09-17T10:43:00.000-04:00

This fall, I am going to be asking some questions. I encourage you to answer honestly, and to consider what you might feel called to do in response. Or, what God might be calling you to do!

Tim Bistline Blogs About Self-Care for Youth Pastors

2011-08-19T14:17:00.002-04:00

See Tim Bistline's blog about Self-Care for Youth Pastors at our PRC blog http://www.prcyouthnetwork.blogspot.com/.

Watch the Fish

2011-08-19T14:14:00.001-04:00

Scroll down to the bottom of this screen and watch the fish swim. Relax, take a deep breath. Accomplish nothing for 3-5 minutes.

Surviving Difficult Church Members

2011-08-12T14:00:00.001-04:00

Surviving Difficult Church Members by Robert D. Dale
Creative Leadership Series, Lyle E. Schaller, Editor

Here's a book whose title says it all! If you're a subscriber of the Lancaster PRC, you're welcome to borrow this book, found in the Leadership section, under Conflict Management. (#12531) Or, puchase it from Amazon; see link below. Apparently you can get it for only one cent used -- great bargain!!

Here's the link to Amazon: Surviving Difficult Church Members (Creative leadership series)

The Competent Pastor

2011-07-29T13:25:00.003-04:00

This title caught my eye! What interesting questions this provokes. What does it mean to be "competent" in ministry? How do you know when you're crossing the line over into "incompetent?" What is your definition of competency in ministry? Is anything getting in the way of you achieving that? If so, what do you need to do, for yourself and for your church? Here's an endorsement from the back cover:

Wondering whether it is possible to love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength; be true to yourself; faithful to family; loyal to friends; and lead a congregation to be a healthy, spiritually alive, missionally-motivated community? Ron Sisk, caring companion and resourceful guide, details how success as a pastor -- and as a Christian -- lies in our life-long response to God's grace in Jesus Christ.
Julieanne S. Hallman

Waste Some Time with God

2011-07-22T19:39:00.000-04:00

A colleague of mine asked for my advice. He has a week of study leave and he'd like to read some books in the area of adult discipleship. He asked me (and about 20 other people) for their top five recommendations. Here was my answer.

Do not take any books. Just choose the psalm that is your favorite, and cling to it all day and night in various ways. Spend at least 8 hours in sheer silence, wasting time with God, and renewing your soul. Journal, doodle, take meandering walks with no purpose. Remind yourself who you are at your very core, without any role or relationship blurring your vision. Introduce yourself to yourself, and find out why others think you're pretty terrific. Most of all, rest deeply in prayer. Quiet, wordless prayer, and soulful, word-filled prayer. Give your anxiousness about all this time-wasting to God, who will remind you that you don't have to do anything, from time to time. Just be. Fall in love all over again with God, and let everything else go.

Just one psalm. Or better yet, just one verse. That's all.

Yes, don't read about adult discipleship. Just be an adult disciple, intensely on your own for one week. Let me know how it goes.

**

May you find your own time to waste with God this summer!

Ministry Loves Company: A Survival Guide for Pastors

2011-07-01T10:23:00.001-04:00

Praise from the back cover:

John Galloway's Ministry Loves Company is humorous, helpful, and filled with distilled pastoral wisdom. He has provided humorous, well-written stories that are often poignant and strike to the core of one's heart.
Thomas K. Tewell, senior pastor, 5th Avenue Presbyterian Church

Ministry Loves Company presents practical advice that could come only from an experienced pastor with a desire to ease the way for new pastors as well as those disillusioned with pastoral ministry.
Carnegie Samuel Calian, president of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary

A great title! Check it out..

Beating Burnout in Congregations

2011-06-17T11:15:00.002-04:00

Help to beat burnout out before it happens, within your own heart and mind and within the hearts and minds of the leaders of your congregation! Let us know if the Parish Resource Center can help you, in any way, as you take good care of yourself and help the leaders in your church do the the same.

Review by Ray S. Anderson, Senior Professor of Theology and Ministry, Fuller Theological Seminar (words on the back cover)

If your church is a subscriber of the Lancaster PRC, and you would like to borrow this book, just give us a call at (717) 299-1113. The book's catalog number is 11928, and it is in the "Self-Care" section of our Leadership resource area.

If you are burned out from reading books about burnout, this is one that will restore your soul and recalibrate your aim in life and minsitry... Based on the war stories of those who have retreated from the battle weary and wounded. (Lynne Baub's) book not only describes the symptoms of toxic overcommitment but also provides a prescription for sanity and serenity in serving Christ. If I were a church leader, I would put this book in the hand of congregational members before they undertake any ministry assignment and require that it be read by all who are presently serving.

Walking Through the Valley: Understanding and Emerging from Clergy Depression

2011-06-03T15:09:00.001-04:00

...Robert Randall points out in this insightful and uplifting book, rather than ignore or vilify depression, we should face it simply and honestly, acknowledging its destructive power while honoring the potential for growth it can signal. Depression can lead us to internalize, or "act-in" our feeling of despair, resulting in restlessness, sleeplessness, hopelessness, and physical problems. It can also result in "acting out" behaviors, such as betrayal of confidences or sexual improprieties. Depression can, however, become a crucible for new life. It can prompt us to healthier behavior by becoming a condition for knowing what is true and valuable, and by deepening our empathy for others and for ourselves.

(from the back cover)

If you are a subscriber of the Lancaster PRC, let us know if you would like to borrow this resource. #15057 in the Leadership Section under Self-care

Spiritual Wholeness for Clergy

2011-05-20T14:25:00.001-04:00

This book is an uncompromising truth-teller about the frailty and sins of clergy, yet is full of hope because the truth really does set us free... This book is about the road to forgiveness and fullness of life by the means of God's 'awkward grace'-- a healing and hopeful book. Alan Jones

At last we have a clear and thorougly researched book that deals with some of the specific psychological problems that affect 'clergy persons' as a professional group. Using the tools of the liturgy, scripture, and modern therapeutic techniques, this book addresses the issues of alcholism, compulsive behavior, and obsessiveness, pointing the way to a comprehensive spiritual recovery plan. The authors are not afraid to ask what is the spiritual healing involved for Christians in our ongoing relationship with Jesus, and this is done with a gentle style that is neither threatening or doctrinaire. I particularly enjoyed the chapters that dealth with intimacy, affecting our relationship with ourselves, others, and God. Father Leo Booth

If you are a subscriber of the Lancaster PRC, feel free to check this book out of our library. If you're not, maybe you will want to peruse it on Amazon.

Peace to you. Take good care of yourselves...

Clergy Self-Care: Finding a Balance for Effective Ministry

2011-05-13T16:19:00.001-04:00

This book emerges from Roy Oswald's own painful struggle as a young Lutheran pastor to manage the tension between caring for himself and caring for parishioners, and from his experience as an Alban Institute consultant and educator working with hundreds of clergy. His vulnerability, candor, humor, insight and creativity give it the power of reality.
Caroline A. Hughes (from back cover)

Oswald's book was recommended to me today as an "oldie but goodie" from 1991. (The year I graduated from seminary, so it is definitely on the old side!) We have kept it in our PRC collection because it is hands-on helpful. There is a Ministry Stress Self-Assessment that gives you a Ministry Stress score. 7th on the list with a score of 49-- right after Marriage and tied with Geographical Relocation is -- Serious Decline in Church Attendance! Christmas, Lent and Easter (all scoring 12) beat out the last item on the list -- Minor Violation of the Law. What is your Ministry Stress score today? Perhaps make a list of all your personal stressors. Then list out your ministry stressors. What do these lists say to you? What is your prayer, that emerges from the reality of the stress.

Another tool you might find helpful in Oswald's book is the Burnout Assessment Tool, found in Chapter 8. Here is the first question, just to give you a sample. For each question, you give a rating from 1 to 6.

1. The extent to which I am feeling negative or cynical about the people with whom I work (despairing of their ability to change and grow). A rating of 1 would be "Optimistic about Parishioners" and a rating of 6 would be "Cynical about Parishioners."

If you are feeling overly discouraged, sad or just plain tired in ministry, you might want to take this helpful self-assessment.

This book is available at the Lancaster PRC resource library -- in the Leadership Self-Care section.

Essential Relationships for Pastors

2011-05-05T10:51:00.001-04:00

Here's a recommendation from a colleague. Check out The Pastors' Workshop: Essential Relationships for Pastors, on Patheos.

http://bit.ly/ijomNY

Book Suggestion by Jim Hanna

2011-03-30T13:44:00.001-04:00

Check out this book, recommended by Jim Hanna:

Leadership on the Line: Staying Alive Through the Dangers of Leading
by Ronald L. Heifetz and Martin Linsky

“It gives the perspective on leadership tasks and how to work within the system and stay human. Very practical but has enough theory to help.” Jim Hanna

PRC Staff Suggestion #25

2011-03-11T16:12:00.000-05:00

25. Above all, pray without ceasing. God is using you to do His work.

This is our last Staff Suggestion, and perhaps the post important. A wonderfully-timed reminder, as we enter the Lenten season to pray. Pray for your church. For all the ministries. For parishioners. For the needs of the community...the nation...the world.

But remember to take the time to pray for yourself and your spiritual needs. Invite God into your hopes and dreams for each new day, week and season. Give yourself the gift of time to talk to God about whatever is on your hear. Give yourself the gift of time to listen to God, and what God might be saying to you in the quiet.

May you find in prayer the peace and hope and encouragement you can find nowhere else...that deeply satisfies your soul.

Clergy Self-Care Book Suggestion

2011-02-25T15:42:00.004-05:00

This book helped define the movement of the spirit in a way that helped me recognize where is the spirit leading.

Jim Hanna

To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of our loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude. The movement from loneliness to solitude, however, is the beginning of any spiritual life because it it is the movement from the restless senses to the restful spirit,l from the outward-reaching cravings to the inward-reaching search, from the fearful clinging to the fearless play.

Henri Nouwen
Reaching Out

PRC Staff Suggestion #24

2011-02-25T15:35:00.000-05:00

24. Visit the PRC often with you lay leaders in tow!!

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If your church is a subscriber of the PRC, let us know what we can do to help you in your ministry. If your church is not a subscriber of the PRC, we'd be glad to talk with you about a subscription.

Suggested Book for Clergy Self-Care

2011-02-20T06:25:00.009-05:00

In the midst of discerning who God is calling you to be? Check out Let Your Life Speak, by Parker Palmer:

This book gives permission to reflect on your life and to learn from your own life experience, and to take seriously your own inner urgings.
Jim Hanna

Most of us arrive at a sense of self and vocation only after a long journey through alien lands. But this journey bears no resemblance to the trouble-free 'travel packages' sold by the tourism industry. It is more akin to the ancient tradition of pilgrimage--'a transformative journey to a sacred center' full of hardships, darkness, and peril.
Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak

PRC Staff Suggestion #23

2011-02-18T10:13:00.002-05:00

23. Cultivate a spirit of gratitude throughout the year, irrespective as to what you might be facing.

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What are you grateful for today?

In your ministry...
In your homelife...
In your extended family...
In your friendship circle...
In your community...
In your denomination...
In nature...

And in your heart...

PRC Staff Suggestion #22

2011-02-11T09:31:00.003-05:00

22. Bake cookies with your children or grandchildren!

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Now that's a wonderful idea!!! Maybe some heart-shaped cookies for Valentine's Day! Mmmmm....

When is the last time you baked cookies? Maybe this weekend would be a good time.

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If there are no children in your family, perhaps plan a "Cookie Baking with the Pastor" event in your church kitchen, and invite some families with young children. (2nd or 3rd graders are old enough to not make too much of a mess and young enough to bring a lot of joy!)

PRC Staff Suggestion #21

2011-02-04T16:55:00.003-05:00

21. Engage in regular reading of scripture and -- with pencil in hand -- underline key words or phrases that stand out for you. Re-read the verses slowly, choosing one of the words or phrases as God's gift to you for that day. Claim this promise as your very own throughout the day.

**

What a whirlwind week, with cancellations and re-scheduling and postponing. I imagine you are weary, at week's end, and ready for rest. Except that Sunday is coming! Take some time tomorrow, during YET MORE SNOW to breathe deeply and close your eyes. When you open your eyes again, take a look at Matthew 11:28-30.

LET IT SNOW!!!

2011-01-28T09:47:00.002-05:00

Let it snow, and take the opportunity to remind yourself that almost everything about ministry is cancellable. Reschedule-able. Important, yes. Even vital. But change it to another date and time, and let everyone have some downtime.

Even you!

Yes. You...

Take advantage of the found time to do something that feeds your soul, nourishes your spirit, lifts your heart or stimulates your mind. Maybe it's something that is outside the realm of ministry and theology altogether!

Suggested Book for Clergy Self-Care

2011-01-21T06:36:00.004-05:00

Looking for a good book on being a leader who takes good care of themselves?
Leaders are rarely neutralized for personal reasons, even though an attack may be framed in personal terms. When the players chase you down the field in a soccer match, they are not after you personally. They want you because you control the ball. Even though people yell her name and try to block her way, a fine soccer player would never think of taking it personally.
Martin Linksky, Ron Heifetz
Leadership on the line

This book gives the perspective on leadership tasks and how to work within the system and stay human. Very practical but has enough theory to help. Jim Hanna

PRC Staff Suggestion #20

2011-01-14T14:02:00.002-05:00

20. Walk to work! If you can't walk from home, park 1/2 mile away from your building and walk the last leg.

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Is this a possibility? Think about it! Maybe try for just one day a week as your "walk to work" day. If it's just out of the question, then take a brisk walk around the neighborhood surrounding your church. Or, when you get home, before you head in the door, take a walk to clear your mind and let go of some of the day's frustrations.

PRC Staff Suggestion #19

2011-01-07T17:32:00.002-05:00

19. Time is a gift. Strive to get the right things done not necessarily the most things done.

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As you plan what to do this weekend and next week -- what might you cross off the list? What might you put on the list?

PRC Staff Suggestion #18

2011-01-03T10:59:00.002-05:00

18. Listen to your body -- cultivate one new good health habit. Do not justify harmful habits to the demands of ministry.

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What a great suggestion for the beginning of the New Year!

What about you? What is your body trying to say to you? To eat less? To drink more water? To exercise more? To meditate? To say "no" to something so that you can say "yes" to more sleep? To take a walk each day?

Listen closely...and see what your body needs from you.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-03T10:53:00.002-05:00

May you take good care of yourself, this year...

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Have you made some New Year's Resolutions for self-care? If not, today might be the day to make them...

Think about all areas of your life:
Physical Health
Emotional Well-being
Intellectual and Professional Development
Spirituality
Relationships
Ministry Boundaries

Spin your New Year's Resolutions into prayer offerings to God...

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If there is any way we here at the Parish Resource Center can encourage you to take good care of yourself in ministry, so you can take good care of others, please let us know. (717) 299-1113

Praying with Isaiah 43:1-5 January 4th

2010-12-13T17:03:00.003-05:00

Take some time for yourself as the new year begins. Join us for:

Looking Back, Looking Ahead
Do Not Be Afraid: Praying with Isaiah 43:1-5

Here is the info:

http://www.parishresourcecenter.com/lancaster/latestnews.php

PRC Staff Suggestion #17

2010-12-13T17:02:00.002-05:00

17. Develop relationships that are personal and not just professionally-related. Really know yourself as a person and not just a pastor.

PRC Staff Suggestion #16

2010-12-03T15:40:00.002-05:00

16. Develop relationships that are personal and not professionally related. Really know yourself as a person and not just a pastor.

PRC Staff Suggestion #16

2010-11-15T14:42:00.002-05:00

16. Explore how God is working in the lives of parishioners. Then, take a look at yourself. How is God working in your life? Spend time journaling your answers, or share with a trusted friend.

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How is God working in your life? Maybe the answers come bubbling up to mind...perhaps they are hidden more deeply away.

PRC Staff Suggestion #15

2010-11-01T14:02:00.001-04:00

15. At times when you are exhausted physically, emotionally or spiritually, call for healing prayer from persons whom you highly respect.

PRC Staff Suggestion #14

2010-10-22T16:49:00.000-04:00

14. “Take time to sharpen the saw.” (Stephen Covey) Take a break and get away – get a change of scenery.

If you could jump in the car and drive for a couple of hours, where would you go? Where might you find "a change of scenery?" Or, is there a place that's local, but that's truly "away?" Perhaps pencil in a road trip, or a walk in the leafy autumn splendor, or lunch with a good friend who lives a bit of distance way. Give yourself a break ... and take a deep breath.

Female Baptist Pastor

2010-10-21T12:56:00.004-04:00

Here is a link to a blog by Elizabeth Evans Hagan and her opinion of problems of being 'off' as a clergy person.

Do find time to be 'off'' and not always having to fulfill a role?
Or is this not a issue for you like it is for Elizabeth?

PRC Staff Suggestion #13

2010-10-15T10:42:00.000-04:00

13. Be considerate and provide time for your spouse. He or she is an independent personality. Do not make assumptions that involve your spouse.

Check in with your spouse this evening. How is he or she doing in the context of your ministry? Are you making any assumptions? Are others?

Nonprofit Burnout

2010-10-15T10:40:00.000-04:00

Here's a link to an article written by Kedren Crosby for Millersville University on Nonprofit Burnout.

http://www.nonprofitresourcenetwork.org/resources/burnout.php

Here's what Kedren has to say about the article: I've been compelled recently to reach out to nonprofit professionals who are increasingly overwhelmed with the bottomlessness of our work in this economy. Please do pass it along if you think it could help a fellow world-changer.

Thanks for sharing this wisdom!

PRC Staff Suggestion #12

2010-10-04T10:13:00.000-04:00

12. Set boundaries – you don’t have to do it all. It’s important for other church leaders to respect and help maintain these boundaries.

An Afternoon "Mini-Retreat" Suggestion

2010-10-01T14:03:00.001-04:00

When was the last time you had a chance to get away with no agenda other than to simply spend time with God?

If it's been a while, consider taking some time just to be away, just to let go, to pray if you feel called to, to take long walks, to simply sit still...

What is it that your heart desires?

What do you need from God?

Are you taking good care of yourself, so that you can take good care of others?

If you need some suggestions on where to take your private retreat, please give us a call or email here at the PRC.

Perhaps there is simply no time in the schedule for a days-long retreat, or even a day-long retreat. How can you retreat for a few hours? A mini-retreat, of sorts.

How about blocking out the afternoon one day this week or next and naming it "Retreat?"

Create a schedule that works for you, but keep it simple and build in time to rest and simply be.

Here's an idea:

11:55 a.m. Turn off every conceivable electronic device that will interrupt your time of retreat. This can be done for a few hours. Try it!

12 noon Eat lunch by yourself in a quiet place. Eat something healthy -- slowly and thoughtfully.

12:30 p.m. Take a nice long walk in a beautiful outdoor setting.

1:30 p.m. Sit. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply.

2:00 p.m. Pick one verse (one verse only, not a pericope!) of scripture to sit with. Read it over and over. Repeat it over and over to yourself, perhaps to the rhythm of your breathing. Write it on some paper or in your journal. Write a few different ways. Use different colors. Try Psalm 46:10

2:15 p.m. Invite your right brain to take over. Engage the text in a way that has everything to do with your heart and your spirit, but nothing to do with the church. Draw, write creatively, sing, dance...imagine. Don't edit or judge yourself, just allow your spirit to be nurtured by the creative process.

3:00 p.m. Sit. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply.

3:30 p.m. Turn to prayer in a way that is right for you. Perhaps engage in a dialogue with God, in which to everything you have to say, God responds, "Be still." It might look something like this:

God, I am so frustrated and overwhelmed by...

Be still.

But how will I ever...

Be still.

You know how hard it is for me to...

Be still.

Please, God, hear my heart...

Be still.

etc.

4 p.m. Sit. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Let go.

4:30 p.m. Take another walk and ease back into the rest of your day.

Just an idea. Good luck. Taking time for yourself is one of the hardest parts of ministry, isn't it?

PRC Staff Suggestion #11

2010-09-24T11:15:00.000-04:00

11. Take personal retreats on a regular basis, for several days or even just for 24 hours.

When was the last time you took time just for you? Just for you and God? With no other agenda than to simply be.

How true Augustine's quote still rings after all these centuries:

You have made us for yourself, O God. And our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.

Perhaps if you're feeling restless, what you really need at the deepest level is to find your rest in the arms of God.

Come to me, all you who are weary and carrying heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Depression: Listening Helps

2010-09-24T11:04:00.002-04:00

Sometimes taking the time to listen to someone who is suffering from depression can be a great help to them. Here are five suggestions for listening with compassion and wisdom, from Tom Harper, of NetWorld Alliance, in his blog article: "Try This to Combat Depression." Here's the link to the full article: http://www.churchcentral.com/blog/Try-this-to-combat-depression

•Show sincere care

•Acknowledge and dispel their pride

•Spare the accusations

•Speak with comfortable candor

•Direct them to outside help

**

Tom Harper states that 10 % of Americans over the age of 18 suffer from depression. "Many depressed leaders resist seeking treatment due to the stigma of weakness," he says.

Is depression something that you struggle with? There are many web-based resources that are available to you. Here's one: http://www.1on1health.com/web/info/depression/english/home/Topic-Home

If you don't have someone to listen to you deeply, someone who can listen sincerely and non-judgementally, seek them out. Ask a trusted friend, a ministerial colleague or a beloved family member to accompany you as you talk about your feelings and struggles. Seek help at the Samaritian Counseling Center http://www.scclanc.org/ or your local counseling center if you're feeling overwhelmed and unable to step forward.

And remember to turn to God in prayer, to offer worries, anxieties, fears, frustrations to the One who understands completely and loves you unconditionally. Take a few moments before, during and after your prayer to breathe deeply and feel God's love descend into your mind, heart and spirit.

PRC Staff Suggestion #10

2010-09-20T12:57:00.002-04:00

10. Choose a spiritual director, and meet with her or him once each month for personal reflection, guidance and encouragement.

PRC Staff Suggestion #9

2010-09-17T16:12:00.001-04:00

9. Cultivate a sense of humor.

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What was something that happened this week that was stressful, frustrating, boring or left you feeling stuck in some way? Looking back on this experience, is there a different way to take a look at it that might help you to laugh a bit. (Who knows, maybe laugh at yourself a bit...)

Watch a funny movie this weekend. Sure, right in the middle of sermon preparation, take a break and have a hearty laugh. No time for a movie -- look at a short YouTube clip.

Here's a humorous YouTube video that takes on a serious subject with a light tone. It's for youth for confirmation, but it's good for us grown-ups, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARdwIWDnE90&feature=player_embedded

Interesting Blog Article

2010-09-10T16:11:00.002-04:00

http://www.churchcentral.com/blog/Straight-talk-to-church-members-about-their-pastors

PRC Staff Suggestion #8

2010-09-10T16:03:00.000-04:00

8. Have a friend outside the parish you can call on day or night.

PRC Staff Suggestion #7

2010-08-27T14:24:00.000-04:00

7. Maintain a good balance between people who drain/dissipate your energy and those who energize you.

PRC Staff Suggestion #6

2010-08-14T11:46:00.003-04:00

6. Attend at least one adult growth event each quarter – sit in on a Sunday School class, Bible Study, or Small Group, not as the leader, but as a participant.

**
Glen Roth, PRC Consultant and Co-Coordinator of our Adult Education division, says, "Nurture is at the heart of ongoing spiritual vitality and growth in the life of the individual and the congregation. It will be of great benefit to the pastor to connect with some of the current thinking and practice in adult spiritual formation."

PRC Staff Suggestion #5

2010-08-06T14:03:00.000-04:00

5. Remember that you are the only one who writes in your datebook.

How are you doing in terms of scheduling time for yourself? (See the New York Times article in the previous post.) If it's hard for you to keep boundaries around days off and scheduled vacation time, what is getting in the way? What is the resistance? Is being available 24/7 taking a toll on you? How might the new program year be a new opportunity for you to covenant with yourself, the church and with God, about reserving precious amounts of time for your own renewal and care?

Some questions to think about on these hot and humid, late summer days...

New York Times Article

2010-08-06T13:41:00.001-04:00

Check out this article from the New York Times on Clergy Burnout. The main point: Don't neglect to take time off.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/02/nyregion/02burnout.html?_r=1

PRC Staff Suggestion #4

2010-07-30T13:11:00.001-04:00

4. Find ways to make personal connections with the children in your congregation.

Go to a soccer game and help their parents cheer. Talk with them about their favorite DS game. Join the family for ice cream. Have a Kid's Fun Day at your church and play silly games. Invite a child to lead you into that stress-free place that adults have such a hard time finding -- The Present Moment.

PRC Staff Suggestion #3

2010-07-24T09:46:00.000-04:00

3. Prepare adequately – you’ll feel more comfortable and more competent if you’ve the proper time to prepare for a task.

Need someone to help you with a program of accountability (someone who is not a part of your congregation or your denomination)? Call to make an appointment with one of our consultants.

PRC Staff Suggestion #2

2010-07-16T14:41:00.000-04:00

2. Know when to pray at 3 a.m. and when to hit the snooze button.

PRC Staff Suggestion #1

2010-06-25T14:14:00.000-04:00

1. Remind yourself frequently that you are doing God’s work and in the end, God is responsible, not you.

Clergy Self-Care Ideas from PRC Staff

2010-06-25T14:06:00.003-04:00

We now turn to the acculumated wisdom and experience of our Parish Resource Center staff here in Lancaster, PA. I asked the consultants, our president, our founder, and our administrative staff all to give me a few suggestions. There are 25 in all.

Please us know if there there is anything we can do to help you in your ministry. We've recently added this tag line to our mission:

Everyone has a calling. Ours is helping you.

We mean that. Let us know how we can help.

Thank you, Jim Hanna!

2010-06-25T14:03:00.000-04:00

It has been wonderful to share the wisdom of Jim Hanna through this list of 12 suggestions for taking good care of yourself in ministry. Thanks, Jim!

12. Be Accountable & Explore Your Resistance

2010-06-11T13:17:00.001-04:00

Chances are good that you’ve heard all of these suggestions about self-care before, taken them to heart and perhaps have tried, with good intentions, to integrate them into your life. But chances are also good that perhaps there are two or three suggestions on this list that just haven’t found their way into being an important part of the way you care about yourself and stay healthy. We know what is good for us. We make good plans. But something gets in the way. I asked Jim Hanna to talk more about how to deal with resistance.

“Check in with a good clergy coach or spiritual director, or colleagues you gather with on a regular basis,” he suggests. “Part of the agreement has to be laying out things you’re going to do, and then having someone to whom you’re accountable.”

A relationship of accountability can be the place where you explore your resistance. Jim says that in therapy, toward the end of the session, he helps the client to articulate a plan about the next steps they are prepared to take. Then comes a crucial step. He asks the client to talk about all the ways in which they could sabotage the plan, and not do what they want to do.

Jim notes that “We’re all raised with a lot of ‘shoulds’ in our heads. We are experts at avoidance. We have all kinds of devious ways to avoid. I’m practiced in it. We all are. What we don’t do is take responsibility. Instead of saying, ‘No, I don’t want to do it,’ we say, ‘I want to do it.’ But underneath we say, ‘I’m not going to do it.’ We say yes, but we have our fingers crossed.

“It’s far better to be genuine,” he says, “and get in touch with the part of us that truly wants to say yes.”

Would it be helpful for you to find someone to whom you can be accountable about your plan for self-care? Maybe that person can help you uncover hidden resistance and articulate what it is that you want to say yes to.

11. Find Ways to Stay in the Balcony and Off the Dance Floor

2010-06-04T14:00:00.002-04:00

Author Ron Heifetz talks about finding ways to step away from your work to spend some important time reflecting about your work. You can’t have the necessary distance and perspective to evaluate your ministry if you’re always immersed in it. Stay in the balcony for a while, Heifetz advises, and off the dance floor.

This analogy has become a favorite of Jim’s. It’s so easy to get caught up in the dance of ministry, he believes, that you forget to take the time to think about what you’re doing and why.

“In family systems theory, he explains, “it’s called differentiating, that is, the ability both to know and be oneself, even in the midst of emotional turmoil, and to stay connected to other people.”

“The thing that helped me survive long years of ministry was to find ways to reflect on the work I was doing. To stay outside of it. The times when I got into the most difficulty were the times when I lost the capacity to self-differentiate, when I became so sucked into the dance, that I couldn’t see that there was a broader picture.”

Jim believes that sometimes stepping back to look at yourself requires the help of another person, like a clergy coach. When you can look back at yourself with some necessary distance, then you can see options that might have been hidden otherwise.

As he says, “Somebody said depression is too much necessity and too little possibility. When you’re so sucked into the necessities of the ministry, you forget there are possibilities.”

In every situation there are some possibilities, Jim explains. No matter how difficult or complicated circumstances might seem, if you step back and take a good look, you can then think about the possibilities and explore the choices you have. This keeps the situation manageable and reminds you that you can always find a way.

It’s not always easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest challenges in ministry, Jim believes, to stay self-reflective.

Have you stepped off the dance floor lately?

10. Avoid Triangles

2010-05-24T14:45:00.001-04:00

I asked Jim Hanna what self-care suggestion he had for clergy who work in a larger, multi-staff church. How might one stay healthy and grounded amidst those sometimes complicated relationships?

“Avoid triangles,” he advises. “It’s common wisdom but I don’t think it’s practiced readily.”

It’s a typical struggle that comes with being part of a larger staff. How do you avoid getting caught in “triangle” relationships with a parishioner and a colleague?

Jim explains. “People will say, ‘I can talk to you but I can’t talk to so and so.’ It sounds very complimentary on the surface, but it’s a trap. Avoid those situations where you are triangulated by talking about somebody else rather than talking directly.”

The key to staff relationships, Jim believes, is to talk as directly as possible to each other and to avoid being triangulated by others.

But what do you do when a parishioner comes to you in anguish about your colleague?

Listen to them, but encourage them to speak directly to the other person, Jim says. If they can’t, continue to listen. But focus your conversation on the parishioner’s feelings and on what their choices are for how to deal with their feelings. Stay focused on them and don’t agree to become their voice or spokesperson to your colleague.

As you talk with them about their choices, Jim advises, “Be careful not to decide for them. Let them decide what they need to do for their own well-being. It’s about them.”

9. You Don't Have To Do It All

2010-05-07T15:26:00.000-04:00

In his role at the Samaritan Counseling Center, Jim Hanna found that he admired clergy who were able to ask for referrals to other helping professionals, for they were the ones who realized that they didn’t have to do it all.

“Great pastors know how to refer to people they trust.” he said. Some pastors feel threatened by the need to refer, and worry that church members will think the minister is not doing his or her job.

“That’s an invitation for burnout,” Jim says, “to think that you have to do it all. Just like a good primary care physician, you’ve got to know when to refer people for help from somebody else who can provide it.”

Know what resources are available to you so that you can refer others. Begin to create relationships with counselors and other professionals. Create a support system that connects you to the larger community. You don’t have to feel that you need to do it alone. In fact, that might work against you and the health of your ministry.

“Having a messianic complex is the fastest track to burnout, feeling like you somehow have to carry it all or prove something about your worth or your effectiveness or your role.”

8. Focus on the Positive

2010-04-30T15:25:00.000-04:00

Another suggestion for the way to approach one’s ministry is to focus on what’s right, even when you’re tempted to think about what’s wrong.

“In almost any agency or church, there’s about two or three percent of the population that takes up eighty percent of the energy. You have to be careful how much attention you pay to dysfunction,” Jim gently warns.

“The truth is there are some people who have really heavy needs, for lots of reasons and always will. Pastoral work can be drawn so much to that segment of a church. You can be drained by it. Your whole ministry can become focused on it.

“I’m a great believer in focusing on the positives in an organization or in a person’s life. Make sure you’re not extending so much energy and time in those areas of dysfunction that you’re forgetting to focus on what are the positive things and reinforcing what’s positive in an organization or church.”

Jim has found that a disposition toward the positive does two things. First, it encourages the church to dwell on what’s going well instead of what’s not. And secondly, it energizes you in the process.

“Our nature is to be pulled into those few areas that really are energy-draining,” Jim notes. “Set some boundaries on how much of that you deal with.”

7. Retain a Sense of Humor

2010-04-23T12:37:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, the way in which we approach a situation can make all the difference. I asked Jim Hanna to think about self-care suggestions concerning the way in which pastors go about doing ministry.

“Humor is the key,” he replied. “If you don’t have a sense of humor in the ministry, you’re dead in the water. Pastors tend to be too serious. Laughter is critical -- the capacity to find humor in whatever you’re doing. It lightens things. It helps people to connect. You can’t be too absorbed in a situation and still laugh.” Humor requires you to step outside the situation, Jim says, which is exactly what you need to do to keep things in perspective.

“Find people who help you see the light side of life. Have at least a few relationships in your life with people with whom you’re just light. Ministry can draw you into too much heaviness. You get drawn into it, sucked into if you don’t have places to laugh and to enjoy.”

*

Have you engaged your sense of humor today or this week? How might you step outside of a frustrating or stressful situtation, and laugh about it?

6. Exercise

2010-04-09T14:36:00.001-04:00

Another activity that Jim now does for fun is biking.

“I’m not an exercise nut,” he admits. “I really envy people who are.” Jim encourages pastors to find a way to exercise, like biking or taking walks, that takes them outdoors.

We all know that exercise helps us manage weight and get rid of stress. It allows those helpful endorphins to lighten our mood and make us feel better. But Jim describes another important result of exercising, especially when it’s outdoors.

“Being outside, being in nature, being in the broader world keeps you from becoming myopic in your thinking or perspective,” he states. “I found when I would get the most depressed or down was when I was so focused on something that I couldn’t begin to see the larger picture.”

“Expand your thinking,” he encourages. “Don’t let yourself become too confined. Particularly in the ministry. Take walks, ride bikes, do something that you enjoy. It’s really critical in ministry.”

**

What's your favorite way to exercise? How do you make the time?

5. Read Novels (Have Some Fun!)

2010-03-19T16:51:00.002-04:00

When I asked Jim what advice he would have for pastors that would help them to really step out of their role for a while, he immediately responded, ‘Read novels. Read novels or anything that’s non-theological.”

Jim recounts a story that happened some years ago. Someone asked him what he did for fun and he was distressed to realize that he didn’t have an answer.

The person pressed, “Surely you have some hobby.”

“No,” Jim replied. “I don’t have any hobbies.” Although when he thought about it further, he admitted that he liked to read.

“What do you like to read?” the man then asked.

“Theology and psychology,” Jim replied.

“But that’s work,” the man said and Jim realized it was true. He didn’t have answer to the question, “What do you do for fun?” because he wasn’t taking any time for fun. Since that time, he has added novel-reading to his life. Now he has a ready-answer should the question come around again!

Jim explains that getting absorbed in a novel, especially in a longer novel, is a way of gripping you and keeping you in the fictional world that is created. It’s a great way to step outside of ministry, for a much-needed mental and emotional break.

Ask yourself the question. “What do you do to have fun?” Or, more specifically, “What do you do for fun that has nothing to do with the church? If you have trouble coming up with an answer, perhaps head to the local library or bookstore.
(One of Jim’s favorite novels: A Prayer for Owen Meany, by John Irving)

4. Attend to Your Spiritual Growth

2010-03-12T15:05:00.003-05:00

Pastors are immersed in matters of faith. All throughout your day and your work week, you turn to God on behalf of others. What about turning to God on your own behalf? When and how can that happen? I asked Jim to expand on his encouragement to stay spiritually grounded.

“Religious disciplines can become part of the profession,” he responded. “You pray so often in public that you just say the words. At first, I was surprised when people would call on me unexpectedly to say a prayer. Then after about twenty years of it, I would just get up and say the prayer and not even think about it. I realized at some point in my career, I was saying prayers for the people, not to God. I wasn’t praying to God, I was praying to the audience. That disturbed me. I realized that this religious business is dangerous to one’s spiritual growth.

“Remind yourself that spirituality is not just a professional role. It’s a part of who we are. When you read the Scripture, it’s not just to figure out what I’m going to preach next Sunday. Ask yourself, “How is this transforming me?”

Jim believes that this is not something pastors can do alone. Often, it’s important to seek out someone who can help. A spiritual director or spiritual friend can accompany you on your journey, to listen deeply and gently nudge you to listen to the yearnings of your heart.

3. Resist Projections

2010-03-05T14:42:00.001-05:00

It comes with the job, doesn’t it? Others will project onto you the positive or negative feelings that they hold for clergy in general, for an authority figure in their lives, for a beloved or hated pastor in their past, even their feelings for God.

Jim Hanna notes, “As someone once said, ‘We’re neither as good as some people think we are nor as bad as some people think we are.’ People have a tendency to project a lot onto pastors. You’re either the best thing that’s ever born or you’re such a disappointment.”
He encourages pastors to do what they need to do to feel grounded, spiritually and emotionally. That way, when an accolade comes your way that is disproportionate to reality, you won’t pay too much attention. Likewise, a stinging critical remark is less likely to ruin your day or your week, or chip away at your sense of self-esteem.

As Jim cautions, “It’s important to remember -- I’m a human being just like everyone else, struggling with my own internal struggles and doubts just like everybody is. We need to keep reminding ourselves of that, and not try to live up to whatever people place on us.”

2. Make Time for Friendships

2010-02-19T16:18:00.000-05:00

Jim Hanna was the Associate Pastor of Highland Presbyterian Church, in Lancaster, PA, for twenty years. For four years prior to that, he served a small church in western Pennsylvania. He speaks from a depth of personal experience and years of listening deeply to pastors.

“One of the things that causes the most distress with clergy is their feeling of being isolated. The role is isolating. I remember when I first entered the ministry and people would get all concerned if you said *#$%!. There’s a built-in feeling of being treated differently. People would guard their conversation. It’s important to have colleagues and people you can be yourself with.”

Friendships with church members can be important for a pastor. Of course, maintaining confidentiality about other parishioners, and being especially careful about boundaries become part of the way you approach friendships with church members. But Jim encourages clergy to find some friendships within the church.

However, as he reminds us, “It’s important to have friendships outside the church, too – people who don’t see you entirely in that role, and who treat you as a friend. So you’re not so defined by your role as a pastor that you forget that you’re a human being.”

To know there is a friendly face and a listening ear no matter what, can help you through the difficult times.

What are your thoughts on making time for friendships?

1. Be Clear About Your Day Off

2010-02-09T16:29:00.000-05:00

“A regular day off is a must,” Jim Hanna asserts. “Most pastors will find it difficult to set a boundary around a day off. A designated day off that is publicly acknowledged is important. Most church members will respect the fact that you have clearly set aside a certain day on which you will not be available unless there is an emergency.

The problem, Jim notes, is that “Pastors tend to give ambiguous messages, like ‘It’s my day off, but don’t hesitate to call.’” Respect your need for personal space and others will too.

“Ministry is made up of interruptions. That’s the nature of the work. You never know what’s going to happen. It can be both exciting and it can be daunting to know that much of your work is done during interruptions, things you didn’t anticipate. But knowing you have some routine in your life, knowing that you have that day set aside, it can really be a help.”

**

What do you think? What are your ideas on taking a day off? What gets in the way? How do you make it work? Post a comment, let us know!

Jim Hanna

2010-02-05T21:31:00.001-05:00

Jim Hanna is the retired Executive Director of the Samaritan Counseling Center, in Lancaster, PA. A pastor himself with twenty-four years of experience in the parish, and a companion to many ministers as a counselor, Jim is uniquely suited to talk about the area of clergy self-care.

I interviewed Jim on a beautiful December day, at the Parish Resource Center in Lancaster. I would like to share his wisdom with you on this blog, over the course of the next several months. From our conversation, I gleaned a list of twelves suggestions. Over the course of the next several months, we will highlight one suggestion each week or two. This will take us right through the Lenten Journey toward Pentecost.

Many thanks to Jim Hanna, for sharing his insights with us.

Are you taking good care of yourself, so that you can take good care of others? As you see the list of twelve suggestions emerge, are there one or two that could help you as you navigate the sometime stormy waters of our profession? Perhaps you might want to think about the difference it would make…for your stress level, for your family relationships, for your ability to find the balance and focus you need.

Welcome to our Blog!

2010-02-05T21:19:00.001-05:00

Ministry can be all-consuming, leaving precious little time for pastors to take good care of themselves. Yet, what is more crucial to being able to be the pastor that God is calling you to be, than being physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy?

As you seek to take good care of yourself in ministry, may God encourage you and provide you with the energy and focus that you need.